


You Don't Have To Keep Your Distance Anymore

by DaydreamNightmare



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Drabble, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 09:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2647331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamNightmare/pseuds/DaydreamNightmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>''Killian,'' she whispers quietly into his ear, fingers digging in sharply into his chest where his heart should be, beating strong as it always does. ''Killian, wh-''</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Don't Have To Keep Your Distance Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first public fic in a long long time, and my first CS fic ever. It's a short drabble, and a bit disjointed, and rushed, and I'm really nervous about it, but I hope you like it! (Also, I do apologize for the title, but it did inspire me.)

She feels anxiety bubble up in her chest.

It has taken her thirty years to learn to love herself, and now it feels like it might take her thirty seconds for all of that to go to waste.

Killian is avoiding her.

And she knows he thinks she doesn't know- that she believes his lies, and short kisses, and still hands, that she buys the bullshit about feeling under the weather and having promised one of his crew a get-together- and she thinks her heart might break in half.

(How can he even think that it's deceiving her? How can he have so little faith in her?)

It's her fault. How could it not be? They've known each other far too long and far too well; she's the one that dictates this relationship, she's the one that calls all the shots. It's because of her insecurities that he's had to keep his distance, keep his mouth shut, keep his feelings reined in.

And she's lowered her walls far too late.

She stares at the door of his room at Granny's for a long while, before she finally raises her fist and bangs on it. After a while, a faint sound of shuffling is heard, and he opens the door. He looks like hell, his face pale and his blue eyes dim, his hair in more of a disarray than usual, shirt half-buttoned and vest open. He looks at her with those dead eyes, and Emma thinks it might feel better if someone was taking her heart out.

''Hi,'' she says finally, impressed with her ability to keep her voice from wavering.

''Hello, love,'' he murmurs, and a faint smile crosses his features. ''What brings you here?''

''Is everything all right?'' she asks, crossing and uncrossing her arms over her chest, stomach flipping. ''With us, I mean. You seem... Distant.''

''Right as rain, sweetheart,'' he says in a forced cheery voice and she feels tears stinging her eyes.

(She doesn't remember the last time she's cried over a boy, and wonders if it maybe happened during the time she doesn't remember with Ingrid.)

''Please, don't...'' she starts, and has to stop herself, to swallow her fears and force her voice to be calm. ''Don't lie to me, Killian. Just... Just tell me, please? Because nothing is right as rain, and you're so distant and I know I've been distant too, but we don't- you don't have to do that anymore and- and I miss you, and Henry misses you and I think my dad is heartbroken too, and I just... Is it me? Did I do something? Wait too long, gave too litt-''

He reaches out before she can finish her sentence and burst into tears, and pulls her in, arms strong around her shoulders, and this hug is the first sign of affection that's felt real since the night she almost gave up her magic.

''None of this is your fault, love,'' he says, and his voice is full of emotion, and she presses her hands against his chest as if to push away from him, but he doesn't let her, almost trembling as he holds her. She exhales shakily into his neck, her hands resting on his chest, when she realizes something is awfully, terribly wrong.

''Killian,'' she whispers quietly into his ear, fingers digging in sharply into his chest where his heart should be, beating strong as it always does. ''Killian, wh-''

''Shhh,'' he shushes her, his hand reaching up to hers and pressing it more firmly against his skin. He takes a step away from her, and looks her in the eyes as he clings to her hand.

Oh, God no.

Nonononononono.

His eyes are heartbroken, and full of unshed tears, and she feels her magic licking its way through her veins, bursting with fear and anger.

She swallows hard, forcing herself to remain calm. She knows- oh, how she knows who holds his heart.

( _oh God, is he watching, does he know what is happening? how many intimate moments has he intruded on so far?_ )

''O-okay,'' she says. ''Okay. If you... If you say everything is alright, then I believe you. I have to go back to the apartment. Elsa has some new info about Dairy Queen. Apparently, she has an accomplice.''

''That does sound worrisome, love,'' he says, thumb rubbing her knuckles. ''Do you need me?''

_I always need you_.

''Not at the moment,'' she says. ''I'll call you when I know more, all right?''

''Of course.''

She thinks about it for a moment, and then throws herself at him, kissing the life out of him, desperate and angry and worried and filled with rage and a feeling she's too afraid to name, and he moans hoarsely as his hands close around her.

''I'll be back later,'' she says in a whisper after she breaks the kiss, her breaths heavy, before she turns away from him.

She has a crocodile to skin.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Thoughts?


End file.
